More than halfway...

I desperately want to press pause. My little guy is 7 months old today. It seems so old and at the same time like it wasn't that long ago he was born. He is more than halfway to one!

When my daughter was a baby it seemed like the time was slower, looking back. I remember her being a baby for so long. As you get older, time just speeds up. Maybe Adam Sandler will let me borrow that neat remote from "Click"?

7 months ago I was leaking amniotic fluids in my best friends husbands truck lol

Being a single mom, I actually had enlisted my best friend Maggie as my birth partner. I chose her over other people in my life because she is a rock, is sweet as pie, loving and caring but when she has to be, a complete psycho controlling bitch. That is why I love her :) lol

I needed her rock side to get me through the birth, and then I needed her controlling side to tame the nursing staff who all felt that birth was a major medical emergency needing massive amounts of intervention. I believe otherwise. Unfortunately being a single mom also has made me financially strained. My medical insurance doesn't allow for a home birth and financially I could not afford one with a midwife. Thankfully I was able to have a midwife still, just had to birth in the hospital...

My birth plan was extensive. I wanted the option to move about and walk around and not be forced to lay in a bed. I wanted the option of eating and drinking instead of an IV. I wanted no epidural. And that was just for ME, the mom in labor.

Everything went so fast mostly because when your in pain, time has no more meaning. Maggie drove me to the hospital at 5:30 after my water had broken. By 8pm I was in pain. Pain pain pain pain. It was deep, strong, low pain all through my pelvic area, contractions in my lower pelvis, not at all like labor with my daughter 10 years earlier where it was all in my stomach and much more manageable. This was intense. Then my midwife informs me that I have to stay in bed, because I have to have antibiotics for testing positive for strep-b a week earlier... awesome.

With limited mobility I was now in so much pain I couldn't keep my eyes open. I shut down and went in to my own world. I remember screaming through every contraction even though I tried hard not to. I have no idea how long this lasted because at some point I cried out for an epidural, screaming at nurses that I didn't care if the anesthesiologist was at home in bed, get his ass in here NOW. No, I didn't want the freakin pool that you all just spent 30 minutes filling. No, i don't want to sit on that ridiculous ball, no, i want drugs. NOW, lots!

I really wish I could say I regretted getting that epidural, but I don't. I am a huge advocate for natural birth, really. I just wish I could do it. I have no tolerance for pain what so ever. But literally moments after having it, I was dilated to a 10 after being stuck at 3 for HOURS. And a few pushes later, my little Emmett Michael was here! So, I would like to think that little to none of the epidural got to him :) He was wide eyed and very aware from birth, looking around, always sticking out his tongue. He was amazing, and still is! He is my non vaccinated, exclusively breastfed, intact, co slept, baby worn, organic little guy.

But now, we are more than halfway to one. Time to hit pause!